Day by Day

I've been toying around with blogging about my weight loss journey post-twins, not because I think a lot of people will want to read it, but because it will sort of give me accountability to sticking with it.  I hesitated because I didn't want to start writing about it publicly and then fall off the wagon.  I know, it doesn't make any sense.

Summer 2014

When I first found out I was pregnant in January 2015, I was so incredibly excited, but concerned.  I had put on an extra 20 pounds since I got married and was planning on working off that weight in 2015.  I knew I couldn't try to lose weight while pregnant, but I decided that I wanted to be as healthy as possible and eat well and exercise while I carried my baby (I was 13 weeks before we found out there were two).  

Unfortunately my lofty health goals were thwarted when I couldn't keep down ANY food that was good for me.  Smoothies, salads, fresh fruits & vegetables, oatmeal....couldn't eat 'em.  Biscuits & Gravy, pancakes, sausage?  Those things I could eat.  I have no idea why.  So that's what I ate as I took my prenatal vitamins faithfully.  

I was still determined early on to at least exercise regularly.  Well that was thrown out the window because I would gag every time I got on the elliptical or treadmill.  Bummer.

Between my 8 week and 12 (it ended up being 13 because of snow) week appointments Tim and I became more and more suspicious that I was having twins.  I was sick sick sick but my belly got big big big, and it was so early.  Needless to say I was relieved that I was having twins because it explained the illness and my incredibly fast weight gain.  My midwife told me to try to eat as healthfully as I can, that I didn't need to gain any more weight and to take it one day at a time.

March 2015, 15 weeks with Ivy & Claire

A few more weeks went by and I finally was able to get diclegis, an anti-nausea medication and it worked wonders.  The weather was warming up, so since I was feeling better, I was anxious to go out and start moving.  I was sporting a full on  baby bump at this point, and looked like I was about 6 months pregnant.  

We went on a walk on the Greenway on a beautiful day in March, a few days after I started taking diclegis.  And. It. Was. Hell.  My back, my heps, my legs didn't want to cooperate.  I was in excrutiating pain the entire time and went on and on, thinking that I had to do this or I wouldn't be about to go through labor and delivery ( I ended up having a C-section anyway because Ivy was transverse).   I knew women that had run 5ks early in their pregnancies, so surely I could walk a mile or too, right??  It was a terrible decision, but sometimes I'm just stupid stubborn. 

I was unable to move the next day.  It was terrible.  We called the midwife and she said to take a warm bath ( I needed help getting in and out of it...and walking across the room to do it...thank God for amazing friends that helped me when Tim was at work) and drink lots of water.  That was her solution for everything, and it really did work!

Needless to say, carrying twins is a whole different ballgame, and really every pregnancy for every woman is different.  I learned my lesson then that I needed to listen to my body, and if I felt tired or worn out or sore I was just going to have to rest.  One of the major concerns with twin pregnancy is avoiding pre-term labor.  It was always in the back of my mind and I knew that my purpose in life at that time was to care for my heavily taxed body as much as I could. 

With diclegis, I was able to eat more and that's really when my sweet tooth developed.  Cantaloupe, watermelon, fruit-roll-ups, fruit snacks, juice, ice-cream, chocolate milk.  Oh the chocolate milk.  I didn't know anything could taste as good as chocolate milk when I was  pregnant.  It soothed the heartburn too.  Such terrible heartburn.  I was very aware and mindful about watching my sodium intake, but I didn't even think about the sugar I was consuming.  In March I gained 12 pounds in 4 weeks and by the time I was about 28 weeks I had gained 45 pounds.  It was awful.  I felt like humpty dumpty.  With Miss Piggy face.  But my blood pressure was good and the girls were growing beautifully, so I was grateful. 

I had never heard of a glucola test or gestational diabetes, so I really wasn't that concerned when I took the test.  But then my midwife's office called and said I failed and needed to take another test...and I failed that one too.   I learned about all the food I needed to avoid and it made my heart so sad.  My diet was already limited based on what had made me sick and what gave me heartburn.  And now I had to give up my beloved sugar.  I was not happy.  

I spent the last trimester taking my bloodsugar 4 times a day and sending my numbers in to the endocrinologist.  It was scary at first, but once I figured out what gave me the least heartburn and kept my sugar under control.  What's really great is that in those last 3 months, I only gained 5 more pounds.  Eating for gestational diabetes is really healthy.  :) 

August 2015, 38 weeks

I didn't go on walks those last months either.  I could barely get up off the couch to go to the bathroom.  My goal was to get those girls to a healthy size and then after healing from my C-section, work slowly on getting myself back to a healthy weight.  My sister in law said she always gives herself 9 months to lose the weight so I had that in mind before even having the twins.  It was difficult having all that weight on my small frame and I was ready to feel somewhat normal again.

I made it to 38 weeks and 4 days, thank God. I can't say enough how incredibly grateful I am that they were completely healthy and perfect.  My body went through hell but it was worth it!  Recovering from the C-section was definitely a slow and painful process.  My mom came down the first week we were home and she took such good care of me and the girls.  My mother in law took off work the following week which was a huge help as well.  My abdominal pain slowly dwindled but I dealt with terrible back and hip pain for several weeks. I also had issues with my incision not healing as quickly as it should.  I had the babies August 25 and wasn't healed until just before Thanksgiving.  I said all that to say that I didn't work out or anything during that time.  

2 weeks postpartum

I decided to breastfeed the girls, and because of that, I couldn't diet because of the amount of calories I needed to nourish the babies.  What I did do was eat between 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables daily.  I managed to lose 35 pounds from when I delivered the girls until Thanksgiving.  When the holidays hit, I went a little wild and stopped paying attention.  And what sleep deprived, breastfeeding mother of twins can resist having 24 hour access to Christmas cookies?  Not this one, that's for sure.  :)  So I put a little weight back on, looking forward to January when I could re-focus.  

In January I got back on track and decided to use an app to count my calories.  When the girls turned 4 months we started solids and my supply started dwindling so I had to sort of play around with how many calories I needed to lose weight at a healthy pace.  I would lose a little, then gain a little, lose a little, then gain a little.  It was highly frustrating, because I couldn't seem to get past the 35 pounds lost mark.  I finally decided to join Weight Watchers.  As an extrovert, I thrive on being around people and feeling like I'm "in this" with other people.  My first meeting was Tuesday February 23.  

Even as I type this I'm trying to be careful about what I say because the things that we think and say about ourselves really do matter. I don't want to say "get my body back" because I've had the same body the whole time.  It's the one that ran around barefoot climbing trees when I was a kid.  The one that played soccer for 10 years.   The one that boogied on dance floors at weddings, in my kitchen with my roommates, and occassionally in clubs.  The one that allows me to sing, dance, jump, run, walk, bounce, and laugh.  And the one that had the amazing opportunity to grow two beautiful, healthy, amazing baby girls and still provides the milk to nourish them now.  It doesn't look at all like it used to, but it's the only one I've got and I'm going to be kind to it.  
  
I'm in my second week in Weight Watchers and so far I'm really enjoying it!  I lost 4.6 pounds my first week and finally broke through that 35 pound mark, and now I have a total of 37.4 pounds lost!  Hooray!!!!  I'm not expecting to lose that much weekly, because that's definitely not healthy, but I'm really enjoying how it's really challenging me to think differently about food.

 So I'm going to blog about this journey to a healthy body.  I plan on posting recipes and different things I'm learning as I go.  I'm sure I won't be able to resist posting updates about the girls either.  And hopefully maybe I can connect with people who are also trying to become the healthiest versions of themselves.  :)